restored

The word that’s marked this year for me is “restored.”

What many don’t know is that toward the end of last year, I became so weary and burdened that one night I woke up out of my sleep feeling like I was having a heart attack. Just hours earlier, I had dropped to my knees in the kitchen crying out to God and overwhelmed. 

That night marked the beginning of a journey I didn’t even know I needed.

It started with a word from the Holy Spirit. As I prayed, He brought this verse to mind:

“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles,
they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
—Isaiah 40:31 NKJV

At that moment, I realized something: weariness is not God’s will for my life.
If His plan is that I would run and not faint, and yet I was weary, then something was off.

So I repented. I paused almost all external ministry. I canceled preaching engagements. I halted outreach planning. And I sought the Lord.

And to no surprise, refreshing came.

In that season, God revealed that I had taken on more than He called me to. I said yes to things He never asked of me. I was juggling projects and preaching schedules without His mandate—and therefore, without His grace for them.

Understand this: When God calls you to something, He gives you grace for it.
But when you go beyond His call, you step outside His divine empowerment for that task.

Yes, God moved in those moments. Yes, He used me. But I was left empty and exhausted.

Then came another layer. As I returned to ministry earlier this year—starting with our powerful time in Texas—I realized the root of it all.

I had begun to prioritize the work of God over the presence of God.
My heart found affirmation in what I did for God, instead of who I was before Him.
Like Martha, I had busied myself with many things while missing the one thing that mattered most—His presence.

And so came more repentance.

But with it, restoration.

The fire in my heart has been reignited—not for ministry alone, but for intimacy with Jesus.

I don’t know what else the Lord will reveal in this season, but I know this: I am grateful for His love, His mercy, and His correction.

Let this be a reminder: Don’t trade His presence for performance. Don’t confuse calling with busyness.
God doesn’t just want to use you—He wants to be with you.

—Matthew Ausby Meadows
President, One For All Missions